STOPtober & cars-oh what fun we can have!

Smoking Bans KILL businesses-FACT!

     You have got to hand it it to our most erudite MPs as they have (supposedly) vaingloriously saved the human race (well, most of those under 18 at any rate) from a fate worse than death..... or should I say 'instant death! The new and totally ridiculous law, enforceable from today actually) states that from today it is illegal to smoke in YOUR OWN CAR if you happen to have a child in the car with you - child being someone UNDER the age of 18! yet they want 16 yr olds to vote so is this not somewhat hypocritical I ask?

Under the Smoke-Free (Private Vehicles) Regulations 2015, it will become an offence to light up in any enclosed vehicle that is carrying people aged under 18.

      Just to prove to all that this is not just another money-making scheme we also have the following proviso's: In cases where the passenger is the smoker both they and the driver will have committed an offence (easy double money is it not?). In an interesting quirk, the legislation bans lighting up in a caravan or motorhome only if it is moving - meaning that all you have to do is stop every 10-20 minutes, somewhere on the public highway, stick your feet up and smoke away to your hearts content! I can see it now.....

plod, "tap, tap, tap, why are you parked here sir?" 

Driver, " had to pull over mate as it was fagtime, I'll be done in a few minutes (hearty wink employed)". 

plod, " but traffic is backing up behind you sir"

Driver, "did I make this stupid law? I don't think so (another hearty wink) good day to you!"

     It is also not a crime to smoke in a convertible with the top down or for a 17-year-old to smoke while driving without anyone else in the car aged under 18. (hang on a minute-wasn't this law supposed to be all about protecting our young and innocent-the under 18's..... even though they old enough to legally drive a motor vehicle?)

     Electronic cigarettes are not covered because they do not emit toxic fumes. But motorists who hang their cigarettes out of the window will still be committing an offence. Now of course the burning question is..... "who protects all motor vehicle users from the highly toxic fumes from all the other motor vehicles on our roads?"

     Yet again, the idiots that WE vote in (God only knows why, for most of them have the common sense of a dead gnat) have put unenforceable laws in place with a police force, that is being streamlined for financial reasons, being expected to drop everything and simply watch out for 'smokey motorists'. I doubt that Enid Blyton or JK Rowling could make this stupidity up if they tried! But, there is a beautiful sting in the tail for these buffoons as I have a very simple way by which the whole pack of cards will start to teeter & fall - child-like dummies!

  

Which one is real???

STAGE 1: All anyone need do is to nip out to a toy shop and buy a child sized dummy, dress it in baby clothes and secure in a baby/child seat, preferably with a nice little woolly hat on its head so that a little of the face is visible but not too much. Most dummies can be bought with the appearance of being asleep - perfect! Ensure you take photographs at each stage and have them authenticated by someone 'of standing'.

STAGE 2: Drive where ever you want to go, smoking whenever you feel the urge to smoke! This article here will prove my point perfectly!

Now this has a two-fold victory sign attached to it, you'll see why in a minute.....

a)... If plod decide to pull you over simply let them rant on at you and accept the ticket gracefully, smile nicely and bid the officer a 'good day' before you toddle off, smiling from ear to ear. Be careful to preserve each & every ticketIt doesn't matter how many tickets you accrue for none of them will cost you a penny, and here's why folks. When a ticket is rated as non payed, court proceedings are initiated and when the call to appear in court arrives please make sure that you do actually attend. After all this is your moment of glory for after the usual bollox that initiates a court hearing are over and done with the magistrate will ask you if you plead guilty or not guilty - and to everyone's astonishment you will plead NOT GUILTY (for the simple reason that you are absolutely NOT GUILTY). The simple truth is that you cannot be 'ticketted' for smoking in a car with a 'minor' present when there is NO MINOR in the bloody car! In evidence all you need to do is to produce your authenticated photographs, showing all stages of 'dummies' dressed & semi-dressed state. Then you simply ask the prosecuting creature one simple question, "did the officer attempt, at any time during the ticketting procedure, to satisfy himself that what he saw was an actual real live human being?"

Bang Bang - end of case! Valuable court time taken up by idiots following the procedures laid down by elected idiots who have far more pressing matters to deal with than someone smoking a cigarette in their own vehicle! Perhaps I could suggest the migrant crisis???

b)... Should you have a nosey neighbour or suchlike, they will probably try to tell you all about the new law: smile nicely and wave them away as you would an irritating wasp. After their third attempt to intervene between you and your (dummy) child you can simply inform them that if they dare to intercede again in your private affairs you will report them for harrassment ..... isn't it nice to have a double edged sword . This will, in time, severely clog up the court system and create the mayhem that this imbecilic law richly deserves! I doubt that plod will bother too much with this stupid, stupid law. How so many of us survived the 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's etc is totally beyond me !

  v  

     Whilst on the smoking theme..... you have to cast a wry smile at the terrible state of affairs in Cambridgeshire as Addenbrokes Hospital is under the severest of financial stresses and has been placed under "special measures" as it doesn't have the resources to pay the staff it needs..... yet they complain about the 11,000 incidents where smokers have ignored the hospitals ridiculous claims that 'no-one can smoke on the hospital grounds'! It just goes to show you the lunacy that Blairs government introduced on the people of this land when someone have a quiet smoke gets the same newspaper space as a majorly bankrupt, high profile hospital does! The lunatics truly are running the asylum!.

  "McNeil (Addenbrokes) announced last week that he was leaving the trust after almost three years in the job, so that a successor could address a number of very serious challenges here in Cambridge, including a growing financial deficit. The trust is losing £1.2m a week." I can really see why they are concerned over someone smoking on the grounds..... can't you?

     Meanwhile, according to a most reliable source, most of the worlds smokers have no plans to quit something they enjoy - and who can blame them? This poor old world of ours gets more oppressive every day so if a simple smoke is your stress reliever then so be it - 'carry on smoking sire'! 

 

Bessie Nolan, 103 yrs young and enjoying smoking everyday!

how can this be so???    

Over in America, the place that is no longer 'the land of the free' there are plans afoot to repeal a smoking ban - yes, I said repeal as Casper City are looking to help businesses instead of killing them off. Let's hope that they keep their nerve and vote for common sense so as to allow bar owners to make their own, informed choices!
     It also seems that despite the ghost of the tyrranical ex Mayor Bloomberg hovering over the city, New York's smoking rates are on the rise again! So much for the nanny brigade 'war-whooping' on every sidewalk & junction! The figures show a  14 % increase from 2010, which was the city's lowest recorded rate ever.
     Over at the BBC there was much wringing of hands & gnashing of teeth as iconic rock star Keith Richards sat on the Andrew Marr show being interviewed ..... WHILST SMOKING! They even provided him with an ashtray no less. How could it possibly be that a 70 yr old smoker was still alive, still spoke eloquently and was in a building smoking? Wow! Truth is that Keith refused to interview without his beloved fag in hand..... and the BBC backed down. Sadly I have to report that during the making of the programme no one died.
     Bizarrely enough, as more and more of the lies from the anti-smoking basturbators unfold we now find that more & more non smokers are contracting lung cancer. Now there's a thing!
     And another recognised study has now declared that smoking does not always curtail/dictate lifespan - now there's another thing! Apparently, genetics have a lot to do with lifespan and for once 'UCLA' failed to mention those much favoured words that they simply love to chuck into the mix: "Premature deaths", I wonder why not? 
     Back in Blighty an in depth study in Bradford has revealed that traffic fumes cause babies to be underweight at birth - so we already know what is going to be introduced 'scientifically' over the next few years don't we: "traffic fumes now associated with certain types of cancers" (Dr Kitty Little anyone-from the 80's?) 
     On a slightly different tack CRUK (CROOK  ) have been taken to task as to whether they are actually a pharmaceutical front or a serious charity after several rather pithy questions were asked by Chris Woollams. One thing is for sure and that is that they are now such a massive financial organisation they simply cannot afford for a cure-all to cancer being found/announced or put on the market! After all, when a charity declares that "every penny donated goes directly to research" one has to wonder why at least £108m is spent out of an income of £433m + approx another £10m on anti smoking canpaigns! Doesn't sound much like "every penny donated goes directly to research" to me - does it you?
Same difference!
     Whilst on about the lunatics now being in charge of the assylum one surely has to wonder at the possibility of the Labour party disintegrating under the leadership of the geriatric 'meat-head' duly elected to serve? After all, Bin Laden was a hero, Twin Towers was America's fault, we need to induce several million more migrants into this country, scrap Trident but not obliterate ISIS (???), and best of all this complete twerp WANTS us (that's me& you and a dog name Boo) to stay in the crumbling, all but sunk EU! Thankfully this loon will greatly enhance the kNOw vote (OUT vote) when it actually comes to referendum time.
Camoron has now been informed that the EU want yet another £365m for some reason or other-perhaps it's simply that the EU are running out of money to bribe our very own Brussels Broadcasting Company with - after all, what better way to financially kill a country than to bribe a nation with its own dosh!
     And finally, just to cap it all off and thanks to an abysmal bit of photographic imagery and media sympathy hype, we have been hit with the news that this country is to be invaded by at least 20,000 'refugees', including of course, as many ISIS headcases as can arrive here. Still, now that smoking in your own vehicle has become illegal this country is saved!!!