Monday, 26 July 2010

ASH have now caused WAR!

We all know exactly how the fake 'charity' Action on Smoking and Health ensured the smokeban came in, but it was a bit late in the day to do anything about it, especially as the majority of MPs were hoodwinked in the process.
But bringing in the vending machines/tobacco display banishment has seen ASH, CRUK (& the DofH) house of cards come tumbling down. Our very own Chris Snowdon (Velvet Glove, Iron Fist) has uncovered all their dastardly little subversions, all their devious plots to get the bill through parliament. They even resorted to using absolute lies, but a series of e-mails (under the FOI Act) has shown them up for what they truly are:-
Lying, cheating bastards! Nothing charitable about them at all, they are simply hell bent on curtailing smokers enjoyment and, at the same time, keeping the vast sums rolling in to further their lavish lifestyles.
The display Bill went through but in the light of the truth surfacing, much to the chagrin of ASH et al, it is very unlikely to be implemented by this coalition government. Now, where does this leave a red faced ASH & Co@
They've immediately attacked stating that a 'sudden' survey has shown that 80% of the population want further smoking restrictions; ie, we must be talking about beer gardens etc here surely?
But wait a minute, the last proper survey conducted showed that 82% of licensees had seen the light and wanted CHOICE!
If 25% of the popup=lation smoke, how did ASH manage to attain an 80% figure? Of course, the answers simple really. 5% of smokers wanted to restrict themselves even further! Silly me.
At a time when the economic damage of smoking bans are becoming apparent to the new Prime Minister and his schoolboy sidekick (who incidentally rated the smokeban alongside bringing back hanging-now there's a thought for Arnott/Duffy & Co) we have found a new champion amongst all the champions of smokers rights! Step up to the plate one "Mr Johnny Rebel"
JR has opened a new facebook page for fellow rebels-and he just might get a few followers! (sic)

The battle cry is eminently simple:-
"The Resistance. Stop funding the Smoking Ban. Buy your tobacco Abroad."

Now I have done for ?????years. Can't remember how many years now but will continue to do so until I depart this despotic nation of 'PC', nannyistic farts.

However, the thought of all smokers getting their 'baccy' from abroad has immense appeal as financially it can totally ruin this country-then what are 'call me Dave' & the schoolboy going to do?
Buying your smokes abroad is NOT illegal, therefore, this absolutely bloody perfect as a form of LEGAL REBELLION! don't you just love it! Just think about this logically for a minute. I get through 3 50gramme packs of celightful Goden virginia per week and each one denies the government of £8.60p. So I cost THEM £25.80 per week and that equals £1,393.60p that I deny HMG getting their crawly paws on to fund such turds as ASH & CRUK. Bloody hell, now I've worked that out I'm quite excited by my legal rebellion.
Now if I, little old Simple Simon can do that on my own just how much can the roll-up smokers of this once proud nation cost HMG? I dread to think. If there's a million fellow 'roller-uppers' doing the same then this Government is in deep shit before we even get to the 'tailor-mades brigade. With such a deficit they wouldn't be able to fund ASH, CRUK, slimy Smokefree NE, NW, Yorkshire or any other so called charitable anti smoking bigotted shower of shite.
So people, the call to arms has been made. The Pirate Flag of mutiny has been hoisted aloft-sticky backed productions should soon be available for distribution-I know not from where, but somewhere! let the politicians know that we do hold the power and we do not like our elected (that we elected) ignoring our wishes. We might be a minority of 25% but by christ we make life intolerable for the 75% that don't enjoy the humble weed. Where-ever you see this sign smile to yourself and think 'I'm part of the biggest uprising this country's ever seen'.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Enterprisingly Punched !

Many is the time I wander through the internet on the hunt for interesting snippets about our pubcos. You know who they are, especially the big 2! They are the ones that complained to the government that by allowing some pubs to smoke it would create an unlevel playing field and that as they were the biggest two in the land they demanded a level playing field.
So, you see, we can thank Punch & Enterprise for the situation we have now with in excess of 6,000 venues closed and more going on a weekly basis!
What did they mean by a level playing field? Did they mean that they thought smoking pubs would thrive whilst those turning to food orientated pubs would suffer? If so, then by their own violition they know that smokers equals revenue.
Did they think that by creating a level playing field all pubs would then be equal? Surely not for landlocked pubs stood no chance of survival if smokers were cast outside. People do not want to walk past hoards of smokers on a street corner, or anywhere else for that matter, just because they can't smoke inside. likewise, smokers do not want to stand outside on cold, wet, miserable nights for a fag-hence they stayed at home and pubs suffered greatly!
Whatever their reasons for wanting a total ban, their reasoning has come back to haunt them, or to put it more succinctly:- bite them on the arse bigtime!
Punch & Enterprise both welcomed the total ban but are probably now ruing the day they made such a decision. Pub after pub closes through lack of business. Deals are being done with property developers as one great institution after another is reduced to rubble and then becomes a block of flats etc.
Share prices plummet and show no signs of recovery, dramatic or otherwise and the pubcos fight tooth and nail to stave of bankruptcy-for the interest repayments on borrowings are colossal.
Tenants are squeezed for every penny that can be wrought from them-and a good percentage of them cannot make a living anymore; but they are trapped in financial web of possible misrepresentations and contracts.
Which brings me nicely to the point of todays offering. My good friend Inez Ward has posted the following on her facebook page:-

Inez Ward Calling all Punch tenants, need your help please! Can you please email your current product price lists to Apparently Punch have said that prices have only risen by 1% and this may not be quite factually correct across the estate. It would appear that the Sun want to know the truth and that can only be a good thing

Now, knowing inez as I do, there is no way she would post such a request unless she was certain of her facts therefore I can only conclude that Punch Taverns are telling 'porkies' in order to keep face. Further to that thought, what have The Sun newspaper found out that warrants them to start snooping around? are they about to uncover another can of worms that the pubcos don't want opening/exposing? With Inez urging all tenants to contact The Sun I fully expect that a can of worms may well be opened and that Punch may well be in for a rough ride.
But do I care? Not a jot for a friend of mine invested a lot of money when taking his pub on 4 years ago: the business was valued at £120,000 at the time-which he happily ploughed in and Punch gobbled up. Last week his 'business' was valued at "you might get £80,000 if you're lucky"! So he's £40,000 out of pocket thanks to Punch wanting a total ban (level playing field), can't afford to sell the 'business' and can't really afford to stay open full time. What sort of situation is that? All his staff have been released to other possible employments and his wife is now the pitifully paid cleaner!
Watching another blog I read that enterprise are trying to sell pubs that are not fit for purpose! Apparently they are suffering from what is known in the trade as 'delaps'; ie, the property is so run down that it is classed as delapidated, yet they have already charged previous tenants for the required work-which still has not been done.
It would seem from all the above that there are dark and devious goings on behind closed pubco doors and I, for one, echo the call sounded by my friend Inez.
Expose these bastards for what they are and for what they have done to our Great british pubs!

Monday, 5 July 2010

Despair & desparation

Conversation with a disallusioned landlord:-

SS=is Simple Simon, LL is Landlord

SS...Hi John

LL...Hi Simon, how's it going?

SS...So so John. You've not got many in tonight (quick eye count totalled 4 forlorn looking souls)

LL...Better'n most night I can tell you (eyes rolled skyward)

SS...But this place used to be heaving at the weekends John!

LL...Yeah, 'used to be' being the operative words. Now it's like a f*****g morgue. I used to love it here but now I just can't seem to do anything to attract custom anymore.

SS...What happened to the live music every weekend John, jesus, it used to be packed out!

LL...Oh bugger that for a game of soldiers! They stopped coming here cos most of the drinkers were outside smoking or with the smokers! They said they weren't playing to the ten or twelve that stayed indoors-and anyway, I couldn't afford to put them on now so bands are a no no.

SS...Where did that 'dollybird' go, what was her name? karen was it? She was a cracker she was.

LL...Same place the other 5 went Simon - other jobs. Just me an' the missus here now kid, certainly can't afford to pay any bugger to work here so we do the cleaning as well (eyes rolled skyward again)

SS...Some turnaround John, I can't believe it's so quiet mate.

LL...That f*****g smoking ban has killed this pub and many others like it. just look at that poxy thing out there (he pointed through the window at the 'smoking shelter'which took up most of the tiny backyard) A 'Pig in a Poke' that f*****g thing is. £600 that cost me, and for what? Nobody uses it cos you don't get any protection from the weather - you might well stand on a f*****g mountain top with an umbrella as use that lump of shit!
Me dinner time crowd have all gone, you remember old Arthur, Len & 'the boys' don't you Simon? They stay at home now, don't even go down the club on a saturday night anymore! Jesus Christ, it used to be a crime if one of them missed the club out one week-sick certificate needed an all that (he briefly smiled at the thought).

SS...Has the smoking ban been that bad then John?

LL...Worse kid, you'll never understand what it's done to this country (now I smiled to myself), it's f****d it up good an proper kid. Just look at this (he nodded in the direction of his 4 customers, one of whom was readying to depart). What use is that to me to try and make a living from? This place pissed all over £12 grand a week until the ban came in, now me and the misses can't even earn a wage from it. Bet you didn't know we put it up on the market 18 months ago? yeah we did you know! Not one interested party in all that time and we've dropped the price by £40K-still nothing. Even the local football team avoid us on saturdays now as they can't have a fag in 'ere. What a joke.

SS... Most definitely does not sound good at all John, I offered.

LL...Good? it's all bad Simon i'm tellin' you kid. The punters have gone, the bands have gone, the bookings for upstairs have gone, the staff have gone. basically the business has gone! We've put too much into this place just to walk awsy so summat's gottan happen soon or we'll be joining the other 6,000 plus businesses f****d by Blair and his health lobby mates. I'd set fire to it but I won't cop for the insurance on the dump! Anyway with my luck the f*****g fire brigade would be just round the corner and would save the friggin' place!

SS...How's the other half then John? (thinking I'd lighten the gloom)

LL...F*****g terrible Simon, she's on anti depressants now kid, it's all been too much for her.We sunk thousands into this place to get it right, and got no chance of getting a penny back now; f*****g health twats! Smoke? Secondhand smoke? All bollox. Give me a pub full of smokers anyday!

I left John to his endless list of complaints and thought about the monster nights we'd enjoyed there before the ban came in. When you see pubs (and landlords) like this, it really does make you wonder what this country is doing to its people.